Friday, January 30, 2009

Facebook + Parents = Disaster

I recently noticed in my long list of obscene Facebook requests (from the 80 + requests for friendship, all of whom in my recent onset of Facebook Fatigue Syndrome (FFS) I cannot seem to reject but also refuse to fully accept, to the Monster Birth Invitation, whatever the hell that is) that among the pile of friend requests a number of familiar surnames who I felt I should recognize but couldn't seem to identify a source. Suddenly, in a rush of irritation, confusion and slight shock I realized that these were parents. Parents of friends--parents of my old friends, parents of my strictly Facebook friends, and parents of neither. But parents no doubt. I say here parents, not adults, because there is a difference. I am discussing a generation of people whose children are old enough to have been a significantly contributing part of the Facebook Generation I.  

Scenario. You are still in high school living at home. You are hanging out in the basement of a friends house with your gang and discussing the recent shift boy band fads or the scandalous hook up between a freshman and senior that happened at XYX's party last weekend, and mom comes down to say hello.  She sits, the conversation suddenly shifts. You talk about what your plans for college are, how your father is doing, and your family's plans for Christmas. The pleasentries take place and mom leaves. Conversation returns to normal. 

Now, what if mom decided not to leave? Could you resume the previous discussion or would you be forced to continue editing? Mom's presence in your strictly adolescent social space would forever change the nature of the behavior and conversation taking place. It would feel like an change the group culture and be an infringement on the group privacy. Granted, the basement is certainly not a private space, in which mom is technically not allowed to be, but it her presence disturbs an important social phenomenon that part of the process of development. 

Parental registration on the Facebook is no different. I suddenly feel that, with the addition of many friends' parents, this has become a cross-generational environment and my social behavior in the setting must adjust accordingly. I will for, example, edit my wall posting to Alex, which might read "dude, tequila + 7 up = spilled peanuts, a guy with a pencil mustache and bandanna, and stolen library books" to say something more like "dude, last night was so fun and I am full from all those peanuts!" The wall takes on an entirely different character.

Now, certainly many of us could stand to use more discretion about our Facebook activities, particularly as a reminder that this still is a PUBLIC space and things conducted on the Facebook always have the potential of making their way back to precisely the wrong person. But, I will argue that permanent membership on the part of parents is not what the Facebook was intended for, and for a very good reason. I urge the following parties to consider the this as well: grandparents, old high school teachers, youth pastors, and employers.  


1 comment:

Megan said...

Lets go ahead and extend that to family of employeers. My bosses daughter facebooks me like its her job, and that girl has one hell of a big mouth. My advise...the privacy settings. Accept the request, then give them no access to your account. If they ask, you are too busy for that immature site.