Homefries

Everyone should take consistent, healthy dosages of home. Home gives you the things you can't get at school, but are just as important nonetheless. Like,


-Homemade pizza, all of which you can eat without conserving slices for later in the night, when you know that same pizza will surely satisfy some phenomenal drunken munchie.
-Watching grizzlies fight on the Discovery Channel, and listening to your mother make extraordinarily intelligent and credible comments about it--like "wow, look at how much bigger that one Grizzly is than the other" or--after the bigger grizzly takes a break for an enormous shit, "well I guess that's why they are animals and we are not"
-Sloppy, juicy kisses from your sister who smells like barbecue
-Conversations over why the cat has more idiosyncratic credit than the rest of the family, and after such conversations no one does a thing to change this distorted power structure
-Bewilderment as to why the rum has been hidden by my father, but suspicions that he may have hid it knowing I would be home this weekend, under the very false presumption that I might steal some. (He is wrong, because I will simply find an alternative beverage)
-My father cracking some excellent jokes, especially the one in response to a serious discussion about Sigma Nu being kicked off campus for hazing: "Well if they are Sigma Nu, then I'm sure they knew." (more discussion about the Nu to follow)

Please, sacrifice some time to go home. You will be amazed by how just one night among people not of the raging fast college animals will neutralize you.


In other news, the State of the Union was on Monday. Due to a late class and other ailments such as stomachache, headache, fever, clogged nose, and lack of ability to breath, combined with the highly-prioritized Bachelor episode, I missed the wise words of our Chief. But, in great thanks to one fellow student who--like the rest of the campus community--is highly informed about Politics, I was able to get the low down:

"Oh man! His whole speech was made up of American Buzz Words for the common citizen, like 'freedom' and 'liberty' and 'terrorists' and 'justice' and on and on. You could have played the best drinking game ever! Seriously, if you just took one drink for every buzz word you could have been WASTED!"

And that was it. Nothing could have better illustrated this person's point. Think about the implications of this. From one college student to another we exchange highlights from the State of the Union--one the most significant annual events in politics--in terms of a drinking game. Ah, the life of a college student. Can the rest of the population actually relate? And we wonder why those in the "real world" don't take our fantastic campaign slogans like "Save the Dandelions in Southeastern Boulder" seriously. Which reminds me, Sigma Nu, another community of bright, upstanding fellows had their chapter revoked for hazing. 27 of 29 were suspended. Though I was no supporter of the University placing restrictions on fraternities last year, one has to wonder if they really can't do it on their own. It's like the rebellious child that lashes out the moment they are released to freedom. Did these gentlemen of the Sigma Nu chapter not get the Hazing Is Not Cool memo when we lost a student from this very same act last year? How short is their memory? Actually, it is very short--not only did they forget the regrettable events of last year, they also forgot that their very own chapter was founded in the post-civil war era by men from Virginia Military Academy who were specifically against hazing. What irony. But thankfully they won't need me to remind them. They will have the remainder of their years at CU as ex-Sigma Nu-ers to think on it.

Enough. Nyquill, compliments of Tyler, is kicking in full force. I must retire. Think about this until next time: Who will Travis pick?